Jul 27, 2009 11:00 AM  CST  

Death and Dying in Different Cultures 

Death is very personal. In fact, of all the things that occur in our life death is probably the most private and most personal event we can experience. Even our birth is shared with our mother, marriage is shared with our spouse, family life is shared with our children but our death we experience as an individual. Death is very personal but it doesn’t have to be lonely. In fact, when surveyed most respondents state that their fear of dying is the fear of dying alone. People want company at that very intimate and personal time of death. The respondents go on to state that their major wishes include being pain free and comfortable during their dying period, being in a place where they are comfortable like home, or at least a home like environment, and being surrounded by friends and family. That is, that they do not die alone. 

 

Death is very personal and we are all likely to respond in our own individual ways. But there are common themes. Almost everyone who understands that they are coming to the end of their life has some fear—fear of what will happen, fear of pain, fear of being alone. There is often reflection about their life, some anxiety about the stages of the dying process. For the friends and family there are common emotions as well. The sense of grieving, of loss, of sadness, the sense of protecting the loved one from unnecessary pain and anxiety.

 

Although there are commonalities of emotions for the dying person and for the friends and family of the dying person there are extreme differences in the response to those emotions. Those differences can be due to belief systems, ethnic background, religious principles, family dynamics, and other causes. We know that in some cultures death is an individual, very private experience. The family and friends actually let go while in other cultures the dying process is a family event and the family surrounds the dying person with such closeness that it’s actually an intimate event. 

 

Some groups or cultures may seek out extraordinary medical care, doctors’ visits, and support at the time of dying while other groups may not want the doctor any where near their loved one at the time of death. Some religions endorse medical care and life prolonging measures while other religions reject that concept. You probably have experienced differences in the acceptance of death even among families that live in the same community. 

 

Some families may be very stoic and brave as one of their members comes to the end of their life while other families may grieve and mourn openly and publicly about the loss of a loved one. Some dying patients and their families may grieve at the loss of companionship that death causes while at the same time celebrating the renewal of immortal based on their religious principles. So there is a mix of sadness and celebration at the very same time.

 

There are commonalities in the emotions of dying. Sadness, loss, and anxiety. Perhaps even fear in some people. On the other hand, there are vast differences in the expressions of those emotions. From profound mourning to celebration. From medical intervention to none. From a sense of despair to a sense of relief. It is the good hospice organization that recognizes the similarities in emotions and the differences in the expression of those feelings based on family attitudes, religions, cultural and ethic beliefs. Hospice doesn’t attempt to change or modify the belief systems of the patient and family but rather to accept, embrace, and support that patient and their loved ones at this very sensitive and private time of life.

 

Source: Covenant Hospice
http://www.covenanthospice.org

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